Interwoven Courage: Fear

Welcome again to Interwoven Courage. This series is about courage, one of the traits of being instead of just existing. As a reminder, courage in the context of “Always Advancing: Choosing Courage, Strength and Honor,” has seven characteristics that I am sharing in two parts. Part One outlines the characteristics of Strength, Fear, Grit, and Sacrifice as individual articles. Part Two outlines the characteristics of Focus, Love, and Hope as individual articles.

 

The previous article in this series discussed “Strength,” which is the foundation for courage. Strength, then, is the experience of an interwoven mind, body, and spirit. Information on the characteristic of ”Fear” is provided in this article.

 

Why is it essential to know about fear in the context of Interwoven Courage? Fear is one of the more powerful emotions we experience, and it takes many different forms. Fear triggers our innate survival response systems. Fear can also ignite other emotions, some of which have longer durations, such as Post Traumatic Stress (PTS) and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Another example comes from Eckhart Tolle’s book The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment, which makes an association between fear and pain.

 

Experiencing fear is a reality for almost everyone. If you search for “fear” on the internet, you will find all kinds of fears and phobias. Over thousands of years, our species has developed adaptive strategies for dealing with fear. The point of this article is that we can experience courage in the presence of fear, other emotions, and other life situations.

 

Some say you cannot be courageous unless fear is present. Courage, then, is a countering posture to fear. I want to make two observations to this thought based on experience. First, I would like to offer a perspective that love and faith is a healthy response to fear.

 

“Perfect love casts out fear…” 1John 4:18

"The cure for fear is faith.” Norman Vincent Peale

 

Courage, then, is a mindset and action set of love and faith. I will discuss love in detail in Part Two. Second, we can experience courage without the presence of fear. Being courageous can be demonstrated because it is right and just. There is no thought of self. Extreme focus is upon helping others from a posture of love and grit. Another example is acting with courage because it is the only choice.

 

It is helpful to review three primary responses when faced with fear, anger, and other anxious situations. The first is the primary unconscious survival or instinctual responses.  The immediate responses are fight, flight, or freeze. I add caregiving and surrender to this list. Hormones are released to get the physical body into survival response mode.  For example, if you’re walking down a road and come nose to nose with a grizzly bear, you don’t pause and think, “Should I fight this bear or freeze and hope it moves on or run away?” Most of us would already be running before we realized it.  Some of the involved brain areas are the brain stem, the hippocampus, amygdala, and hypothalamus. Bessel A. van der Kolk’s book The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in Healing Trauma has more information related to fear and trauma.

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The second is our ability to choose how to respond from a posture of interwoven courage. Along with the parts of the brain just mentioned, the neocortex, primarily the frontal lobes, are also involved. This brain area is the seat of consciousness, reasoning, and decision-making.

 

The third response is spiritual, thus opening the door to the strength characteristic discussed in a previous article. I believe the spiritual aspect is the most important. Even when our neurology and physical body are activated, our spirit provides the ability to “interweave” all three. Spirituality has many forms in the cultures of the world. My preference is from the Christian tradition of the indwelling of the Holy Spirit as a power and strength source. I encourage you to explore spirituality and see what fits best for you and your family.

 

 Our general instinctual response to fear (response one) is milliseconds faster than our conscious decision of interwoven courage (responses two and three). Milliseconds in brain time are like minutes in standard human time. Later, I will offer a few strategies for engaging calmness, reasoning, and decision-making. Remember, interwoven courage is not reckless responses but necessary responses.

 

There is one type of fear that we need to be on guard against. It is the fear that is used to control people, communities, and even nations by keeping us in a chronic state of instinctual response. When our instincts are in complete control, we can be manipulated because our reasoning is still milliseconds from engaging.

 

This review of the three types of responses is to set the stage for the concept of calmness in fearful situations. Calmness is rare in the mind state of fight, flight, or freeze (response one). Calmness in the face of fear, approaching fear, or other disturbances can be achieved through practices of interwoven courage. Achieving this state allows for good decisions and choices. Calmness, then, is key to experiencing Interwoven Courage when faced with a fearful or threatening situation. I want to share three methods and practices of achieving this state.

 

 

 “To bear trials with a calm mind robs misfortune of its strength and burden.” SENECA, HERCULES OETAEUS, 231– 232

 

First, you may know people that are hard to excite or rile up. Very few events seem to escalate them to instinctual survival responses. Many of these people have a nature-nurture origin to their calmness. Their genetic structure has developed differently. This structure was enhanced by how they were nurtured, beginning in the womb. They had experiences from parents, caregivers, models, and mentors that taught them to maintain a calm mind, body, and spirit.  In other words, calmness, leading to good choices, is a core trait. We all can develop this core trait regardless of our age or predicament. It starts with conscious awareness of my core identity and what I might need to change or augment. For example, is my core belief system (my philosophy of life) promoting resilience, perseverance, endurance, and focus? I will explore “identity” in more detail in a future article.

 

A second way to experience calmness is through on-demand practices. In a previous article I presented an overview of mindfulness. It is one of many methods of returning the holistic self to a calm posture by focusing on the breath and being present in the “here and now.” Another spiritual practice would be centering and contemplative prayer. Prayer is powerful because it engages with our spirit to access power that is not necessarily physical. Calmness can promote rational and creative choices. For example, many events and situations besides a grizzly bear can trigger our response to potential danger. We may be engaged in a conversation that has escalated because of passions or emotions. We are not quite fully escalated and have a brief window to bring the mind, body, and spirit back to the “here and now” posture to make better choices.

 

Try this next time you sense yourself triggered by some event. Step back, focus on taking three deep breaths or be prayerful for a moment. This provides an opportunity for an interwoven courage response. The key is daily practice of a calming method. A daily practice can be as short as ten minutes or more lengthy. Through disciplined practice, you should experience (1) an overall change in your ability to remain calm and focused and (2) an improved ability to return to calmness once escalated. Several deep breaths and focus bring more oxygen to the body allowing reasoned choices to catch up to survival reactions.

 

When I talk about the “here and now,” I’m referring to the present, this very moment. Studies indicate that we spend much of our thought-mind time in the past, the future, or repetitive internal narratives. An example would be replaying in our mind a past regret, wishing for change that can never happen. The same would be valid for anxieties about the future. The only place we have the power to choose and change using interwoven strength and courage is the present. Past experiences are opportunities to develop knowledge and understanding. This insight can be called upon in the present to influence change that impacts the future. The “here and now” offers us a safe harbor to be deliberate and calm about making choices. Eckhart Tolle’s book The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment has additional insight into the here and now.

 

A third way to remain in a calm state is through training. The development of resilience and perseverance are facilitated by instruction, exposure, and introspection leading to change and growth. The best examples are the military special forces, other direct contact units, frontline medical staff, and first responders, to name a few. The difference between training for calmness and practicing mindfulness and prayerfulness is the former sets up realistic training encounters and scenarios.

 

The training consists of repeated exposure to as many scenarios as possible.  Each exposure is reviewed to learn from the experience. Part of the review is individual introspection about the possible alternative responses for a better outcome. For example, one special operations community has a training scenario that brings each candidate to the experience of drowning. There is a big difference between knowing about drowning and the experience of drowning. In Central Texas, there is an organization called Austin Disaster Relief Network. This organization provides many levels of training, one of which is CERT (Community Emergency Response Team). CERT training is classroom instruction and walk-through exercises for responding to disasters and other chaotic events. The final test is participating in a mock disaster that is as real as possible, including victims, smoke, chaos, and the unexpected.

 

Self-observation and introspection are the best ways to reveal and analyze how you respond to fear. Many people find honest introspection and commitment to change difficult. The change, of course, would be how you want to prepare for maintaining calmness. My perspective is this requires operating from a posture of humility and discipline. It further requires knowing the source of my true interwoven power. As a Christian, it is the presence of the Holy Spirit through whom all things are possible.

 

One starting point might be seeking training in situational awareness, crisis response, and disaster preparedness and response. This training helps prepare a person in essential readiness for possible threatening or unexpected situations. Our natural inclination is to be fearful. We can, however, have an interwoven response to fearful situations. Another might be experiencing a mindfulness practice. There are many apps and YouTube videos that are free. I would, however, recommend in-person training. There are other similar holistic mind, body, and spirit disciplines. The ones I find most helpful focus on breath, energy flow, being in the present, and centering.

 

In summary, if you are human, you will experience fear. Fear is a natural human response in most cases. Our instinctual responses are necessary to survive certain fearful situations. There are, however, many situations that would benefit more from a healthier response. The healthy response is love resulting in a calmness that evokes Interwoven Courage.

 

 

Next up, Grit

Interwoven Courage Characteristics

Welcome to Interwoven Courage. This blog is about courage, one of the traits of being instead of just existing. The simple difference between the two is being means fully alive to every moment of life and driven by purpose and vision. It includes having a solid and realistic life direction, service to others and self, and confidence in the meaningful investment of time. Existing is controlled by emotions, feelings, idols, social media, and appetites. It is also self-centered, directionless, and easily influenced. This results in doing what the world wants you to do and wasting time, our most valuable resource. This is wonderfully articulated by Aristotle: ”I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies; for the hard victory is over self.”

 

Courage, in the context of “Always Advancing: Choosing Courage, Strength and Honor,” has seven characteristics that I would like to share in two parts. Part One will outline the characteristics of Strength, Fear, Grit, and Sacrifice as separate blogs. Part Two will outline the characteristics of Focus, Love, and Hope as separate blogs. These characteristics enhance our ability to experience courage in all aspects of life. How do we do that? Through practice. Practice is a necessary and mostly conscious action of mind, body, and spirit that interweaves, harmonizes if you prefer, something new that we have learn or enhances elements of self that are already present. I like the word interwovenness because when something is interwoven, it is stronger than the sum of its parts. Let’s explore these characteristics.

 

What do I mean by Strength? Strength is the cornerstone for the other characteristics. Strength, then, is a continuous development of mind, body, and spirit. These three are interwoven into a single focus from which our full potential can be realized. I will often refer to this as the triad. It is important to understand that this triad is not based on some ideal of mind, body, and spirit. We are all unique beings and face many challenges through life. The interwoven triad refers to what we each have and exploiting that to the max. For example, some people have bodily challenges. That does not disqualify anyone from developing a fullness through interwovenness. Our interwoven being has the amazing capacity to adapt and overcome almost any challenge or obstacle.

 

Let’s start with the body to understand the essences that augments strength. We are all probably familiar with developing strength of body. The body is amazing and has resiliencies that we may not fully appreciate. The body, as with the other elements of the triad, needs attention to facilitate maximum efficiency for interwovenness. There is exercise, nutrition, maintenance, and measurement. Maintenance refers to hygiene, regular medical exams, and adjustments such as medication if needed. Measurement is checking in to see if I’m improving, regressing, or staying the same. The one thing to remember about measurement is degrees of change related to any goals. My suggestion is to pay attention to the small gains or regressions. This will help with implementing changes when they can be most effective.

 

The key, as mentioned earlier in this blog, is practice. In the case of body, a regular routine of physical exercise, activity, and a healthy diet when you can. Again, we are talking about your unique abilities and desires. In other words, do what works for you. Do not hesitate to seek out a mentor or model for ideas and to help with maintaining discipline. We are unique beings living in unique circumstances and cultures. We are also designed for relationships. Discipline is a mindset to stick with it. You’re probably thinking, “I know this, but I don’t have the discipline to maintain this over the long haul.” This is where a dilemma surfaces. We need to practice to increase strength, and we need strength to increase practice efficiencies. If I try to solve this dilemma with just mind, or just spirit, or just body, I will make little progress and probably give up. The interwovenness of mind, body, and spirit is where the complete power and energy of who we truly are manifests to solve this dilemma and help us increase discipline, learn from failure, and celebrate successes.

 

 

If there are challenges with strength of body, it does not mean a lesser degree of overall interwovenness. I want to be clear, again, that mind, body, and spirit harmonized together is a unique experience because we are uniquely and wonderfully made. It many times means that developing strength of body is very challenging. But the effort must be made to develop this strength regardless of real or perceived limitations. Bottomline, you are stronger than you may think of feel.

 

We need to add to body the other parts of the triad which are mind and spirit. Just remember we are operating in the context of “Always Advancing: Choosing Courage, Strength and Honor,” and in that model mind, body, and spirit are unique aspects of our humanness. If they are not in harmony, it may result in incongruencies manifested as depression, worry, anxieties, and other disturbances. This is not referring to conditions that might be genetic or a diagnosed disorder. It is referring to situational disturbances that do impact our ability to make good choices because we are incongruent with our interwoven, true self. I will explain this in more detail in the blog containing information regarding identity. Interwovenness is sourced in our identity, our true self.

 

The second element of the triad is mind. The mind is incredible and powerful in the state of interwovenness. But in isolation it fatigues easily. Mind is our thinking self mostly sourced in the neurology of the brain and the brain is much more than just thinking. The mind is experienced as will power, discipline, processing information into knowledge, solving problems, and decision-making to name a few. Each time we learn something new or apply existing knowledge, the mind becomes enhanced with this new or updated information. I like to think of the mind as what gives us the capability to understand this space-time dimension, navigate ambiguities, solve problems, define alternatives, and much more.

 

In this present era there is a lot of attention and focus on the mind. Our western education system is primarily mind oriented. In fact, we rank individuals, communities, states, and nations by achievement scores. Many people take their identity completely from the mind isolated from body and spirit. Rene Descartes stated, “Cogito, ergo sum.” Translated into English that would be, “I think, therefore I am.” In the context of interwovenness, this is very limiting and one-dimensional. But our present era has made this a mantra that motivates and drives many people. This sometimes results in self- obsession and any number of problematic mind conditions and experiences. Please understand that I think the mind is amazing. My point is that it can be even more amazing when harmonized with body and spirit.

 

The mind in all its wonder, however, can be deceived easily outside of the triad, especially under stress and duress. As mentioned earlier, the mind also fatigues easily. Many who have experienced prolonged endurance, perseverance, resilience, and strength testing or real-life events, in retrospect, report only using roughly 40% of their total potential. This realization was a result of these same people being taught how to approach all challenges with a holistic and interwoven mindset and action set.

 

Why is it that appearances suggest only a few people can activate this interwoven system somewhat naturally? My understanding from personal experiences, reading many books, and studies is there are two primary reasons. The first reason has to do with nature nurture. Nature is what we are conceived and born with as humans.

 

Nurture is who and what directs our development over time. An example of that would be rites of passage. I think it is safe to say, at least for the United States, that rites of passage have all but disappeared from our culture. These rites of passage are so very important to the young in getting to know themselves, their families, and their communities at progressive levels, building interwovenness along the way. Rites of passage also help the young identify their current capabilities. This is identity building on several levels. Social media for many has replaced rites of passage and this is where questionable identities are developed that lead to potential long term life issues.

 

The second reason is interwoven being is not taught in most schools, especially public schools. The only place the young can get teaching and instruction regarding their full potential is through parents, caregivers, mentors, and models. Now there are the good, bad, and ugly of all these sources. Trusted and wise guides are needed to shepherd the young in the ways of true identity, justice, respect, courage, and healthy self-esteem. It is difficult to get this type of wisdom from a peer group at a young age The reason is a lack of life experiences.

 

As with strength of body, there are many that face challenges with mind. But the same process holds true. The mind must be challenged and nurtured continuously in order to be interwoven with the other two. Again, we are unique individuals, and this harmonization presents differently in each of us. Interwovenness should not be a point of comparison one to another. It should be a point of respect and admiration for its uniqueness. Activities of mind development are almost unlimited.

 

Finally, what is meant by strength of spirit? In the context of “Always Advancing: Choosing Courage, Strength and Honor,” spirit also contains the concept of heart which will be expanded on in a future blog. A simple definition of spirit might be that force and power, within all humans and animals, that cannot be sourced in anything related to physical aspects. There are confirmed reports from around the world of amazing feats performed by normal people that cannot be explained any other way but as the power of an unseen spirit or force. It is something that comes from outside us yet is a vital part of our humanness. I’m a Christian. The Christian belief system and philosophy is an example of a spiritual reality to life now and for eternity. Everything I think, feel, do, and say is processed through this belief system and philosophy. This too matures over time through life experiences. Our identities are built on what we believe. Interwovenness is an outcome of our identities. If you have not explored what you believe at your core, I encourage you to do so. You will learn something important about what lenses you see the world through.

 

Another way of looking at this is heart. There are many who embrace that the physical heart is a connecting and channeling point of our holistic selves. It is what connects us to everything else. An example of this that has been reported repeatedly over time around the world is a mother’s connection with a son or daughter. There are reported and confirmed cases of mothers experiencing knowledge of events as they happen to her children, sometimes in a different part of the world.

 

There is some science behind this which I will expand on in a later blog. But for now, heart/spirit is real and can be experienced by practicing interwovenness. One way I practice this is through my Christian faith which embraces mind, body, and spirit. My belief is all humans have some sort of spirit. Other cultures and belief systems will add animals, plants, etc.  You may not have applied any thought to this or maybe you are haunted by trying to hold it with science. For now, let’s just stay with the concept of spirit as a third element of uniqueness and power that is part of humanness that harmonizes with the other two. And this interwovenness amplifies our strength to amazing levels.

 

The process for interweaving mind, body, and spirit will be detailed in a later blog. For now, however, the practice of mindfulness is a good place to start. There are many mindfulness methods and practices. Most mindfulness methods and practices are concerned with experiencing the present more than the past or future. The present is the only place where we make choices and changes. I like the Occam’s razor philosophy which is, in my layman’s terms, the simplest method is probably the best one. In other words, choose a simple mindfulness practice to start. I will expand on practices of mindfulness that I embrace in future blogs.

 

Next up, understanding fear.

Introducing Interwoven Courage

Welcome to Interwoven Courage. Interwoven Courage is one element of the Always Advancing Project, part of Interwoven Counseling, PLLC. Other elements are Interwoven Identity, Resilience, Relationship Health, Open/Growth Mindset, Realistic Self-Esteem, True Self (authentic and transparent being), Centering, and Mindfulness. All of these, like Interwoven Courage, will be blogs in their own rights. This blog and others to follow will share some of these elements that might be helpful and life-enhancing.

 

What is offered are unique ways of “Always Advancing,” staying in the fight. This is a path and mindset for living courageously, with honor, and integrity, no matter what your life history or current challenges. The uniqueness comes from personal and professional experiences with combining traits and strengths common to our humanness. This information is offered as ideas for living a rich life that is uniquely you: your maximized self, your true self. This is based on the interweaving of mind, body, and spirit to experience peace, joy, and harmony.

 

My hope and prayer are that you will walk away inspired, full of courage, and starting a new adventure in life or augmenting an existing one.  It doesn’t matter your age or predicament. This series is meant to be a catalyst for growth, adventure, refining, and a new way of being, not just existing. This information is not meant to replace any work being done in a therapeutic or medical setting. These blogs are prayerfully offered in the hope of igniting thoughts about self and possibilities for change should you desire change.

 

The information, for the most part, is meant to be practiced in daily living. I pray that you will be motivated to create a life vision and mission to guide the use of your most valuable asset, time. The importance of life is not how much we do but the quality and pureness of what we think, feel, say, and do in service to others and ourselves.

 

Next up, what is courage.